It is essential that all crimes be described as happening to people by people in order to create the illusion that there is no predator class, no hierarchy, but only individuals doing things to individuals. In a world where 93% of perps are men I do not think it hard to figure out who is served by this demand that women must never “erase” men’s suffering by talking about their own.
“Radical Feminism requires that pursuit of women’s truth, women’s reality be primary. As others have written before me, it requires us to follow our thoughts, no matter how scary, to their natural conclusions.”
Biological essentialism is not gender essentialism and it is not biological determinism.
Or in plain speak – Believing that there are innate characteristics to both sexes is not the belief that the sexes are naturally inclined towards carrying out different roles in society and that one sex is therefore destined to dominate or be ruled by the other.
Yet when so many women hear talk about the fact that there is something about men which makes them act differently than women, something that exists outside of human social constructs altogether they immediately take up the charge of “gender essentialism” or “biological determinism”. Now what “essentialist” radical feminist has ever in any way made the argument that men are destined to rule women? Or that their system of patriarchy is natural?
These things don’t naturally lead into one another.
Most female animals organize their societies around females and their children. The…
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Our language and the way we name our world is not only extremely important, but also extremely revealing. When we analyze our language we find out many things about the culture that uses that language. In patriarchy, women are victims and to show women as victims is right, normal and beneficial for patriarchy. Female victimization is an integral part of patriarchy and without it, patriarchy would not exist. Patriarchy needs females to be victims. It needs females to feel like victims; otherwise, uppity females would stop their own enslavement. They would stop participating in patriarchy. They would wake up and realize that they are sleeping with the enemy. They would understand that they have Stockholm’s Syndrome and seek treatment and they would begin to stand up for themselves. Patriarchy and men cannot have this. Never naming the agent, male violence, is one tool in the patriarchal language box that works…
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“Patriarchy damages every last one of us, that this damage influences how we act and who we are, and that we should work to correct this damage, if only to live life as honestly as possible under Patriarchy.
Another way of coping with this damage is to pretend that the damage is avoidable or to neutralize/sanitize it. In other words, to lie to ourselves and pretend that we control how Patriarchy damages us.
If Patriarchy is avoidable, then wouldn’t it all behoove us to avoid it? If there was an anti-Patriarchy Spray we could use to sanitize woman-hating imagery, why wouldn’t we?”
In an Opt-In system, a Person must voluntarily decide to participate in an activity. So, for example, some states have laws that require consumers to affirmatively Opt-In to receiving telemarketing phone calls. If you don’t Opt-In, you CANNOT receive telemarketing calls.
Opt-In only works if you have an actual choice as to whether or not to participate in an activity. And even then, it doesn’t work well (although consumer advocates prefer Opt-Ins to Opt-Outs, because the Opt-In at least has the illusion of control).
Living in Patriarchy is not an Opt-In system. You cannot Opt-In to this thing that is so insidious, that we are born into, that many of us never even consider in our lives. If there is an Opt-In, it happens when you are born – and of course, no one “chooses” to be born. You just are born, soaking in Patriarchy.
So, no. There is no Opt-In.
So what about an Opt-Out? Can you really create a Patriarchy-Free Bubble?
In an Opt-Out system, you, the individual, need to take an affirmative action to removeyourself from an activity. So, by way of analogy, consumers can Opt-Out of receiving telemarketing calls by registering their telephone numbers with the National Do Not Call Registry. That is, the DEFAULT is that you WILL participate in an activity, and only through an affirmative act on your part can you (hopefully) decline participation (although anyone who had registered on the Do Not Call Registry probably knows how poorly it works).
So, is Patriarchy an Opt-Out System?
Well, for certain the default is that you WILL participate in Patriarchy. Patriarchy is all around us.
Can you make a choice to escape from Patriarchy?
No. You can pretend that Pimp Slap means something other than violence against Women by Men, and you can pretend that your home is a Patriarchy-Free Zone, but these are defense mechanisms, wishes, hopes, dreams. The fantasy of an Opt-Out – the escape hatch – is just a trick that allows you to believe that there is an escape if only, if only, if only.
“Porn isn’t bad when it’s made by Us. BDSM is feminist when we do it. Misogynystic language is ok when I say it because reasons.”
It is understandable that Women want to control, to manage, to decide what happens to us. I get it. Try to “reclaim” slurs like Whore, Bitch, Slut. It’s “empowering.” Sure. If you are getting objectified anyway, do it “on your own terms.” Feminist porn is not like “the really bad porn.”
Except it doesn’t work. Pretending words aren’t rooted in Male Violence against Women, pretending that you can create a Patriarchy-Free Bubble, making “feminist” porn – these are an individual coping strategies. They do not represent a path to liberation of the class of Women – because in order to “work,” we’d all have to lie to ourselves and all decide to believe the delusions (kind of like Gender Identity).
You can live your life in a bubble, if you choose. You can also develop a drinking problem. But please don’t expect the rest of us to go along with your delusions or pretend that you aren’t an alcoholic.
The least you can do for Women is to be honest.
Civilization is anti-human:
Boundaries, self-confidence, and self-preservation is more important than abuse that hides under the label of “love”.
Valentine’s Day heteronormative bullshit is so dangerous.
It teaches women that love is more important than boundaries, self-confidence, and self-preservation.
It tells us that our intelligence, our goals, and our health are less important than whether we’ve secured a man to manifest his value through us.
It tells women to stay in unfulfilling or abusive relationships because their self-worth is best realized in relation to /subordination to a man.
It tells us to ignore our partner’s bad behavior, his lack of attention to housekeeping or the kids, his “occasional” use of woman-hating propaganda (aka pornography), and his selfish sexual practices because at least we’ve “snagged a man”.
I know railing against Valentine’s Day is cliche, and I actually wasn’t going to. But another instance of “love conquering all” has come to my attention and it is so sad to see women being told that giving up their safety and their…
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